So i know a day hasen't past wait it has wow. well i just want to get somethings off my chest sort of... i mean its a good thing all of these girls like me..i mean i dont mind being liked at all...nice...but i dont want a girlfriend plain and simple..i could like some of these girls if i wanted to but i dont. if something isnt going to happen more than just liking why bother. why go through the effort if i am just going to get cheated on again.i know i know its all in the past but really what did i do? i put my heart on a sleeve let everyone know what i felt...i hated both of them for cheating on me..i still dont like one for not even admitting it to my face when i know she did...i am at good terms with the other one and i dont mind i mean were friends again i like it...i mean i will always have feelings like that for her but they r so deeply surpressed i won't have to worry about them ever surfacing again...but sadly i miss her sooo muchh...i miss us talking and having funn i miss her family....but most of all i miss her being there..i do idk why she did it but idc...the guy who she cheated with i couldnt care...i feel so bad that he cheated on her twice...i wouldnt ever do something like that..i couldnt hurt someone i love so much like that....let me tell u its a horrible thing....i went with one of them for more than a year.....then things happended and we broke up.....i wont lie i was depressed i didnt eat much, i cut myself, (and i have the scars to prove it) i just mopped around the house everyday just wandering. i loved her so much..i mean everyone says "ohh well its nothing, its just a high school relationship what did u expect" i expected a lot i guess..i LOVED her and everyone denounced it like if i didnt understand what love is or was...but i do know....thats why i dont feel like having a girlfriend again..its not really that i think i am going to get cheated on its also more about sex....thats all ppl want these days is SEX!!! Jesus h. Christ get over it!!! just cus u want to give up ur pussy to me dosent mean i want to stick my cock in it...Comprende? Shit...Fuck Ppl straight to fucking hell..Fuck...anyway another thing i trully hate how my voice sounds...i am so selfconcious about my voice and well appearence....ughh i have to prove yet again that i can sing for districts AND I DONT KNOW THE SONG!!! i missed a seat by 7 by 7 seats...and some senior who didnt even get ranked got to go for repensatation r u FUCKING KIDDING ME? i was so pissed i had a chance to actually go and she took it away. my singing is one of the things that reminds me of my deceased grandmother..she had such a beatiful voice and i miss her soo muchh she loved my singing so much and she told me not even 2 months before she died to not let it get to my head....i try and not to i mean i never well mostly never get a big ego with singing i know that there is better ppl than me plain and simple...I am sooooo happpy that i got most musical for senior surperlatives!!! i am soooo happy it makes me look retarded!!!   Finally my hard ass work finally paid off! damn 4 years of marchingband & Show Chior, 3 years of Vocal Jazz & County Choirs, and 1 year of the Musical (which by the way i learned my part in 3 weeks) beat that suckkas!! so yeah i will end this blog with a little quote i like "Seize the day or die regretting the time u lost" 

-Peeps-